Why You Keep Falling for the Wrong Person (And What to Do About It)

You meet someone. It feels like something in you exhales.

Their voice calms you.
Their attention lights you up.
Their presence feels familiar — not like déjà vu, but like a home you forgot you were searching for.

And so you open your heart. You share more than you usually do. You hope louder than you usually allow yourself to. And slowly, quietly, without saying it out loud, you start to believe: Maybe this time…

But then it happens. Again.

The warmth fades.
The conversations shorten.
They pull away — or worse, they stay, but only halfway.

And you shrink.
You second-guess.
You tell yourself not to care so much, not to feel so much, but your body doesn’t listen.

You’re hooked.
Not because you’re naive. Not because you’re desperate.
But because your nervous system is chasing a ghost: the ghost of being finally, fully, enough.

This isn’t about bad luck. It’s not even about them.

This is about your emotional blueprint.

Because love — real love — doesn’t live in your mind. It lives in your body. In your patterns. In the unspoken rules you learned long before you even started dating.

You learned to settle for crumbs because someone once taught you that love must be earned.
You learned to stay quiet, because asking for what you need never went well.
You learned to confuse intensity with intimacy, because consistency was never modeled for you.

And so now, as an adult, you keep ending up in relationships where you give more than you receive. Where you feel like you're “too much” or “not enough” — sometimes on the same day.

Where you’re performing love, rather than receiving it.

And still, you blame yourself.
You think: Maybe if I looked different. Maybe if I didn’t care so fast. Maybe if I was more secure…
But what if it’s none of those things?

What if you’re simply reenacting a wound that never got the chance to heal?

You don’t need another “how to get him to text back” video.
You don’t need a list of traits your soulmate should have.
You don’t need another manifestation trick.

You need to come home.

To yourself.
To your body.
To the part of you that still thinks love has to hurt.

Because you can read all the right books, say all the affirmations, do all the healing work in your head — but if your nervous system still believes that love means tension, that being seen means danger, that desire means being abandoned… you’ll keep chasing people who activate that script.

And your heart will keep breaking in the same shape, over and over.

(Research even shows — like in this NIH study — that healing emotional patterns is nonlinear. Progress isn’t about doing it "perfectly;" it’s about trusting the messy, beautiful unfolding.)

This is the real work.

Not to manifest “the one,”
but to become the one who no longer says yes to pain.

To feel safety in slowness.
To allow someone to love you without needing to earn it.
To stop interpreting distance as a challenge to prove your worth.

And yes — to hold yourself tenderly through the discomfort of choosing new.

Because healing isn’t a straight line.
You’ll still be tempted.
You’ll still feel the pull toward what’s familiar.
But this time, you’ll pause.
This time, you’ll breathe.
And slowly, your body will begin to trust what your mind already knows:
You don’t have to suffer to be loved.

For 20 years now, I’ve held space for people in their most tender moments—when the noise gets too loud, when the patterns return, when the heart whispers, “I can’t keep doing it this way.”

This isn’t coaching.
This isn’t therapy.
It’s not a formula.

It’s a protected space,
where your nervous system gets to breathe.
Where your truth can land without being rushed or reshaped.
Where we listen to what’s underneath—
the grief, the guilt, the story you’ve outgrown but haven’t fully released.

If you’re ready to go deeper, I also offer self-paced healing journeys through my online courses — designed to help you rewrite your emotional blueprint at your own pace, with heart and support.

Together, we untangle what’s been looping.
The people-pleasing. The shutdown. The fear of losing yourself in love.
The places where your voice goes quiet, even though your heart is screaming.

I bring two decades of experience,
but what matters more is that I bring presence.
That you don’t have to perform.
That your process gets to be slow, fast, messy, sacred — whatever it needs.

These sessions aren’t meant to fix you.
They’re meant to bring you back to you.

If your body feels the pull, you’ll know.
And when you’re ready, I’ll meet you there.

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