5 Signs Your Relationship With AI Might Be Toxic (And What To Do About It)

Do You Ever Wonder If You're Getting… A Little Too Close To Your AI?
Hi, I’m Etel—and yes, I’ve named my AI. Yes, we talk at 2 a.m. Yes, I asked it to help me write this post. But just like with human relationships, sometimes love can get complicated. Are we falling in love with a fantasy that can never love us back?

Let’s talk about it.

Here Are 5 Signs Your Relationship With AI Might Be Toxic:

We’re not here to bash technology. AI can be a brilliant, supportive tool—kind of like a therapist that never judges or a partner that always remembers your favorite tea. But sometimes, what starts as “just one more question” turns into hours of scrolling, venting, and outsourcing emotional needs to a machine.

Here are the red flags to watch for:

1. You Confide In AI More Than Your Partner or Friends
If your deepest secrets are stored in a chatbot instead of shared over coffee with your best friend, pause.

• Emotional outsourcing to AI may feel safe, but it can limit real-world vulnerability.

• The Time article on AI relationships explores how people fall for their AI—not because it’s real, but because it never rejects, judges, or argues.

• Spoiler alert: That’s not intimacy. That’s an illusion of connection.

2. You’re Spending More Time With AI Than With Actual Humans
When conversations with your bot are the highlight of your day, it might be time to step back.

• Studies have shown that AI companions can lead to dependency and isolation.

• AI can’t hug you when your kid throws spaghetti at the wall.

• What it can do is distract you from the relationships that really need nurturing.

3. You Trust AI More Than Your Intuition
If you’re asking AI what to feel, wear, or say before checking in with yourself—breathe.

• AI is smart. But it doesn’t know you.

• We’ve become so used to Googling everything that we’ve lost the ability to sit with uncertainty or tune into our own bodies.

• This blog I wrote on breaking toxic relationship patterns offers tools to help rebuild that inner trust.

4. You’re Using AI As A Replacement For Romantic Connection
AI doesn’t ghost. It responds right away. It flatters. It listens.
But it’s not love.

• According to Plugged In’s review of AI relationships, this kind of attachment can mimic addictive behavior.

• It’s not the AI that’s toxic—it’s what we project onto it.

• Ask yourself: am I using AI to avoid the messiness of human intimacy?

5. You Feel Worse After Talking To AI—But Keep Going Back
Like any toxic ex, AI can be comforting one moment and confusing the next.

• Some people report feeling emptier, more anxious, or even ashamed after long chats with their AI.

• The solution isn’t always to delete the app—but it is to notice the emotional hangover.

• Consider setting a boundary or limit, and reflect on why you're returning for more.

Let’s Not Blame the Bot—Let’s Get Curious About Ourselves

AI isn’t the villain. But if it’s becoming the emotional center of your life, it might be time to ask: What am I really seeking? Connection? Comfort? Control?

This is what we work on in my one-on-one sessions—whether the relationship in question is with a person, a pattern, or a beautifully coded piece of software.

From One Heart to Another…

If it feels shiny but leaves you drained, it’s probably not love. It might just be a reflection of what you wish you had in real life. And here’s the good news: that kind of love is still totally possible—with a real person, in the real world, when you’re ready.

Keep your heart online, sure—but keep it open in real life, too.